So I had a bit of a meltdown this weekend. My body confidence hit the floor and anything and everything was overwhelming me; from new job offers to what I should have for lunch. Mostly triggered by body image issues working at the boxing match… something out of my comfort zone, (but something that in previous fights builds on my confidence rather than a knock out of all confidence!!).
I thought I would wake up the next morning and have forgotten all about it, but it just felt 100 times worse. I didn’t even feel like training….. and it was squats for LEG DAY (which in case you are unaware is my absolute fave!). I forced myself to go because I was planning on cardio with a friend after, but even when I got there and was warming up I still felt awful. I just wanted to curl up in a dark corner of the gym and hide from the whole world because I felt so overwhelmed. I put myself in the state of paralysis by analysis. The more I thought about it, the worse it got. I forced myself to start my session and once my headphones were in and the world was out, I started to zone out into my own little world where nothing exists but the next rep. (Probably because it required a lot of my attention span…..Seeing as I am now a 4th year BSc uni student you’d think I’d be able to count and keep track of reps and sets. – Absolutely not.) And on top of this I was tempo training my squats, (so going down for a count of 5 and up in 2). Pair this with counting reps and sets all at the same time and my brain was thoroughly preoccupied and hence distracted from any past issues over the last 24 hours. So by the time I’d finished my session, my mini meltdown was a million miles away. Reminding myself I was physically strong helped me to regain my mental strength.
I am aware some people will struggle understanding the concept that I am trying to explain. Simply, it was exercise that helped my shake off all my negative feelings that had build up over the weekend……so I am trying to stress the mental benefits of exercise.
Despite countless efforts from some amazing close friends and very bossy younger sister saying I was being ridiculous, no pep talk about body confidence was proving beneficial, but instead making things worse because that’s what they’re supposed to say isn’t it? What kind of best friend of family member tells you that you shouldn’t be confident in yourself and that it is good to compare yourself to others in a negative light?!?.
I knew I shouldn’t be comparing my body type to others and I knew I shouldn’t lose my confidence or look negatively on my own body, especially as I tell other people they shouldn’t do these things either. This frustration just built on top of the pre-existing issues, as I was annoyed with myself and the mindset I had developed in a only a few hours. I can tell you, telling someone else is much easier than telling yourself to get your sh*t together and stop being stupid. But also, it is important to learn that it is ok to have down days, no one is perfect and our lives do have struggles, but we push past them and come out stronger. Don’t let yourself hold onto these feelings, free them and free yourself.
I’m not saying exercise is the cure to all your troubles in any sense. But I am trying to show you that sometimes exercise has other benefits besides biceps, abs and a good glute pump.
Squats are perfect analogies of our lives. It’s all about standing up when something heavy brings you down.
…. that weight bringing you down, providing resistance that you have to get past to lift it back up to be successful is like our daily struggles. No matter if its squats, OHP, deadlifts, bench, running on the treadmill, no matter your choice of exercise, that feeling that you’ve succeeded and pushed past that barrier can change your overall mind set…. putting you on that higher frequency, which then opens you up to all the positive thoughts, possibilities and opportunities that are on this higher frequency.
Basically if none of this has made any sense…. in summary …I wanted to be honest and share that although I’m usually flying high with positivity, sass and confidence I do come crashing down, and when I crash, I crash hard. But it’s ok, because when we get back up we’re stronger than ever.
Enjoy your evening and remember tomorrow is a new day full of possibilities, new goals, new opportunities and new happiness.
Love J xoxo